LOSING LORI #56 – November 6, 2013

What’s up, homies?

Weird food week, I’ll tell ya that for free. There were two birthday cakes and hell no, I didn’t have ‘just a sliver.’ Who am I? Giselle Bundchen? Why is it that day-old birthday cake, particularly eaten when you’re alone watching crap TV, tastes better than licking the inside of a chip bag? Pfft, as if anyone would do that.

Best way to follow up multiple cakes – Halloween, obviously. While I did enjoy a handful of fun-sized chocolate bars, I didn’t spiral out of control. Now if we had been giving out chips… well, those adorable trick-or-treaters would’ve arrived to a darkened house, adorned online by the silhouette of a large woman with crumbs on her bosom snoozing on a couch.

psychiatry-couchOnto something with more depth. A couple of weeks ago, I had that nighttime urge to nosh. I don’t know why I said ‘a couple of weeks ago.’ I have that urge every GD night. What I meant was that a couple of weeks ago, I found myself strolling to the kitchen for a snack as usual. I stopped myself and stood there and thought, “Okay. I know I’m not hungry. What’s really going on here?” I went all Oprah on myself. “Okay, Lori. What emotion is coming up? What are you not dealing with? What bigger issue is at play here?” Then I willed myself to come up with an answer. My brain strained. And you know what came up? Nothin’. So after about 5 minutes of standing there like a self-actualizing goofball, I had a handful of almonds and dried apricots and went to bed.

I went for a psych top up the next week and relayed that story. Psych said something that flooded me with relief – enough relief to cause tears to be honest. She was totally on board with me stopping and checking in with myself before I snacked. When I told her I came up with nothin’ she said that’s probably because it was just that … nothin’. Since Psych and I have known each other for almost 20 years, she has the knowledge to say that. She knows I’m a fan of leaving no stone unturned psychologically speaking.

So, what was it all about? Habit. It’s behavioural. It’s a pattern I’ve developed for decades. So now what? What do I do when you feel that urge to stroll for a snack? Well, she suggested a strategy that addicts use. I give myself 10 minutes before I eat anything. If the snack is metaphorically on the shore, I ride the wave in. If after 10 minutes, I’m liking being out on the water, I’ll surf for another 10 minutes, and so on. Now if I get to the shore after those 10 minutes, fine. I’ll have a snack. My other hurdle is that when I feel that urge to snack at night, I get a panicky feeling in my being. My mind thinks if I have a bite, I’ll veer completely out of control and inhale the entire kitchen. I need to be mindful of that too, because who is thinking clearly and intelligently in a state of panic?

So, that’s the head stuff I’m working on right now. And maybe it’s working as 1.2 pounds fell off my keester this week. Hope nobody tripped on it. Thanks so much for listening, and being here, and being you.



Pounds lost this week: 1.2 pounds

Total pounds lost: 57.3