DOESN’T HIRE LADY TRAINS

Hey, pal. Can I call you pal? Of course I can.

Have you ever imagined trying to stop a speeding train? They don’t stop on a dime. Seems the Summer of Chips doesn’t  either. Am I calling myself a train? Of course. Why wouldn’t I? It’s about time Sir Topham Hatt had a female engine in the yard. I would be a very useful engine and not pull all the bullsh*t Thomas has been getting away with for decades. What’s that? I’m off on a tangent? You feel I’m trying to distract you from the point of the blog? Damn. You are good.

Let’s put it this way… I eased into a summer break and I’m easing back into a more healthy life. While I may have indulged in a bit of ice cream this week, I avoided drive-thrus completely. And NO chips.

“I love radio!”
“I’m hammered!”

For the past while, I’ve been searching for another job in radio. Once I was gone from X929 and I heard from the listeners that I had been making a difference on their way to work, I wanted to get back on the air. It is so cool to get to be part of somebody’s morning routine, especially if I can cause a laugh or a smile. I’m telling you this because the search has added some stress, albeit positive, to my life lately.

If you’ve been reading Losing Lori for a while, you may be aware of my wee affliction from a few months ago. It’s embarrassing for most people to talk about. My friends and family know all about it because they are awesome and don’t feel a need to filter such information, especially when it is rife with opportunity for jokes. I’m not going to get graphic because there may be newer readers here and I still have a chance at a good first impression. Bwahahaha! Let’s just say that yesterday, that pain-in-my-arse issue was taken care of. That sounds like a mafia hit. Although the procedure ended up being a breeze, it was… yup, you got it – more stress.

Did I mention the week of ballooning lady parts complete with the kind of PMS that makes me question my career choices, cry over the size of my pores and consider moving to a sod hut in the woods where I grow sage and never shower? I didn’t? Excellent. That would’ve been too much personal information. Phew, good thing I’m a lady.

How a SPANX feels

Due to all that aforementioned gunk, I’m going to skip a trip to the scale. I broke up with it months ago for mental health reasons. While I still think I’ll hop on now and then, today isn’t the day.

Here’s to a new week where I hope to turn the train around. I’m not sure that makes sense. I’ll, um… get it back on track? Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

Please have a week where you make serious things silly 93% of the time.

Love,

Lori