LOSING LORI #24 – January 9, 2013

Hello lovely friend with whom I would like to laugh so hard that we shove each other into a hedge,

I’m writing this yesterday morning. Yeah, in the past. Tell me, how is life in the future? Have I entered my alcohol/meth entertainer phase yet? Did I lose so much weight that my jutting, bony clavicle was charged for homicide? I KNEW it. Thank you.

It’s a new year and I’d wager a very busy time for weight loss programs. Have I mentioned how pleased/smug I feel knowing I have not contributed one red cent to the diet industry for my 24 weeks of losing weight? Well, I am. I have, however, invested money in psychology (covered by health plan), good-quality food, a few books and one hell of a fine massage. I also have the most supportive, intelligent, hilarious, real and kickass group of friends and family a girl could ask for. My blog readers are arguably the most attractive people walking the earth today.

For 5 months on the plans, here is the cost and how much each of my pounds lost would’ve been. If there was a range in cost, I have averaged it:

Weight Watchers: $320 = $6.64/lb

Nutrisystem:  $1,325 = $27.59/lb

Jenny Craig: $2,400 = $49.79/lb

eDiets: $2,793 = $57.95/lb

Dr. Bernstein: $3,500 = $72.61/lb

Let me be clear in case somebody thinks I am a judgemental old cow. By the way, if you think that — Hello. I’m Lori. I am not a judgemental old cow.

The statistics on success following diet plans is overwhelmingly low. The research I’ve read shows that 95-98% fail. Having been a 3-time loser at Weight Watchers, I could not go back again. It felt far too much like banging my head against a brick wall. If you are one of the rare few who have been successful following one of these plans, that is effing wonderful. You should celebrate. I have absolutely nothing against you nor your choices. For me though, it’s not the answer.

When people ask me what my diet or plan is, I tell them this:

– I go to psychology to get to the real reasons why I overeat and to keep my head healthy

– I eat low-glycemic foods

– I do not count calories

– I do my best to avoid sugar and processed flour/breads

– I make myself accountable and supported via this blog

– I get enough sleep and water and I treat myself with love

– I keep learning

The reason I am writing this now (yesterday) is because tomorrow (today) I will be halfway to Moncton, NB. I’m going to visit my friend Nikki Payne in her new homestead, then we have a gig together in Saint John. After that, I’ll fly to Toronto to headline the Yuk Yuks in Mississauga and snuggle Amanda Perrin, Karen O’Keefe and several other hilarious women, not all of them gingers. I am beside myself with excitement.

Did I mention I dropped 3.2 pounds this week even weighing in a day early? I didn’t? Doesn’t sound like me. Back on track again and feelin’ fine. I keep watching Hungry for Change on Netflix so it will burn into my brain. Great movie. If you don’t have Netflix, at least enjoy the Hungry for Change website. Smart, wonderful advice. It’s interesting to note that since I began eating right (August 1, 2012), I have not been sick even one day.

I have to go pack now. I have a lot of hours on planes ahead of me. Sure is nice to know it’ll be 48.2 pounds more comfortable this time. You’re welcome, guy in the middle seat.



Pounds lost this week: 3.2

Total pounds lost: 48.2


P.S. Here’s the action plan from Hungry For Change. I most certainly have not done all these things. I’m very gifted at the sleeping part, but have work to do on the consumption of gelatinous plant foods. Gah!