LOSING LORI #6 – September 5, 2012


Hi! Get in here. Did you bring cake? WHAT? Okay, I’m sure you have a good reason. You brought beef dip with fries and gravy so we could save the cake for dessert? Brilliant! High five! WHAT? No beef dip. Okay, wow. I am onto you. You want to take me out for a Blizzard. Whee hee! Let’s DO this thing. Why are you sitting down? Oh, for crissakes. Fine. We can talk.

At this particular moment in time, I very much want to eat a large quantity of highly-caloric food with no thought nor concern about the consequences. I don’t want to log it. I don’t want to think about it. I really just don’t want to give a crap about it. Also, I don’t want to have rational, reasonable thoughts like, “Oh Lori, what is really going on with you right now? Maybe you’re having back-to-school anxiety. Think about how you’d feel after if you binged right now.” Blah-dee blah-dee blah-freakin-blah.


Haha! Well, isn’t this fun? Just a little slice of real life going on in my head right now. I don’t have any wonderful, terrible food in the house, so I don’t think this binge is going to happen. Also, when I step on the scale, I want good news. I have some juicy, crisp apples in the fridge that I’ll cut up later and holy crap, does that ever sound like a GD ripoff right now! Screw you, apples!

Topic change. So, I had a logo made! I know. Who the hell gets a logo made for their weight loss adventure? Well… me. I can’t really explain or rationalize it. It kind of makes it even more of a commitment to me. Ryan Pilling, the guy who designed it, is amazing. Between our two brains and his artistic instinct and talent, the Losing Lori logo was born. Let me be clear that having myself made into a cartoon is sheer vanity and I have little to no shame about it.

It’s later now and I had the GD gala apple. Uuuggghhhh. Maybe I’ll go insane and have some lemon water before bed.

Hey! It’s the next day. I just got back from the surgeon and he took out my drainage tube (from the hernia surgery – where have you been?). Wheee!  Free at last, free at last! Doc Graham is the coolest because he let me see the tube that was what — TEN INCHES LONG! Who knew? You’d think a gal would notice 10″ in her, amirightladies? Hey-oh! I took a picture of it and the only reason I won’t post it is because my comedy daughter, Amanda Perrin, would throw up on her keyboard and ruin another computer. Don’t worry. I’m going to make it into a bracelet for her.


By the way, I love it when you write a comment or send me a message. It’s like a happy little network of cool people doing good things for themselves and their bodies. One comic and I text each other supportive things like, “Hey lardass, are you less pudgy yet?” (in a totally loving way obvi). Another shares my love of night eating. Another admits to the insecurity caused by weight gain and wants to keep things private. No matter what the details, I really love being in the same boat with you dolls.

So, down to the business of numbers. This week, I lost 1.6 pounds. Frankly, I was hoping for more, but in all honesty, I did eat about 1/2 an ocean of salt yesterday. Also, there’s absolutely no sense in being disappointed about 1.6 pounds. If I imagine it as butter then trying to cram it in my jeans pocket, it seems much more respectable. And, um… sorry for that mental picture.


Lori (MyFitnessPal: lorihasfun)

Pounds lost this week: 1.6

Pounds lost to date: 17.3

What weight 17.3 pounds? Good question. The B&W International 96006 Clapton hard case:

I don’t really know what this is. It may have to do with something called a ‘bicycle.’  Maybe Anna Gustafson knows?