* 9 D A Y S *

But I don’t wanna be a pirate!

I feel like I’m getting ready for a wedding. I’m taping my Comedy Now! in 9 measly days. Yesterday, I dedicated the afternoon to finding the perfect shoes. I came home with a rhinestone bracelet and ring. I am not good at this. However, it did occur to me while I was shoe shopping that there are no long close-ups of footwear on the show, so why spend money on new shoes?  I was going to wear this black pirate-y blouse I have, but wardrobe says it might not work. I’m bringing an eye patch just in case. With rhinestones, obviously. When I stress about wardrobe, I remember Nikki Payne saying about her taping, “I looked like a Scottish hooker,” and everything is put in perspective.

The discussions I’ve had with the TV people have been ridiculous. Emails about granny panties are my favourite. “So, did you in fact write the song and music?” “How large exactly are the giant panties?” “Do you need props to obtain the panties for you?”  That was my favourite. Imagine being new on the job… “Oh, hey Todd. While you’re out getting my soy latte, could you be a doll and pick up the largest pair or ladies cotton panties you can find? Thanks, hon.” I bring my own panties (and write them off on my taxes – businesswoman, yo).

So, very excited. Somewhat giddy. Very surreal. Amanda Perrin says she’s getting me drunk after the taping. Since I don’t drink, I am nervous. Is drunk still the same as at grad parties in 1983?